I keep my head down. I know what’s next. She doesn’t even have to tell me. As the few spots of rain begin to drop, I can sense Alexi begin her retreat home.
“I’m sorry, Jacob. I have to go now.”
“I know,” I tell her with a very disappointed tone. “Do what you have to do. Stay safe, Alexi.”
She stands still for a moment. She wants to say something but doesn’t know what. She gives what probably is the best reaction she can give for this. Silence.
It pains me to see her walk away. So I don’t. But I hear her footsteps dragging away towards home. As the rain pours down a little harder, her footsteps go faster.
Soon, I hear nothing but rain and see nothing but an empty sandbox. A perfect metaphor for my heart right now.
I sit down on my favorite seat. But soon I’m restless and stand right back up. I look to the sky. To the rain. I never let the rain defeat me. Except for now.
Instant loneliness has gotten the best of me. I can’t even dance around in the rain. It means nothing now. I’ve been playing in this sandbox since I could walk, but it’s only now that I realize the true meaning of happiness in this sandbox.
It’s not what there is to play with or where you’re playing, it’s who you’re playing with. Years of swinging alone on the swing, my most fun ever was at the corner of the sandbox.
I stare at the sand. I see the fins from the mermaid I formed earlier. I give it a swift kick. She’s been gone for five minutes and I can’t stop thinking of her.
I feel bad. I wish I could do it over again. I wish I could have at least looked at her and said goodbye the right way.
Actually, if I had a wish, I would wish I didn’t have to say goodbye. I wish she was here. I wish we were still playing. I wish I didn’t have to upset her. I wish…
Tap Tap Tap.
Someone’s tapping my shoulder. I turn my head.
I could faint. It’s Alexi. Each time I see her, I could swear that I’m looking at the most beautiful thing in the world. But she outdoes herself every time. Even though she’s doing absolutely nothing. Each time I see her, it feels like Christmas.
But she’s here. Ever so beautiful than a few minutes ago. Maybe it’s because it’s the first time I’ve seen her in the rain. Her hair wet and falling over her face. It’s like a waterfall from heaven covering her eyes.
Her eyes. So beautiful. They have God saying, “Wow! I did that? I’m awesome!”
Her eyes. Staring at me so boldly and has me mesmerized once again.
She smiles. “Tag! You’re it, Jacob!” She begins to run. She runs in no direction but still has the demeanor of knowing exactly what she’s doing.
I’m supposed to run after her. But I can’t. I am frozen in awe of such a beautiful sight. Alexi was meant to be running in the rain. She turns her head to face me and her hair sways through the air in uniform with the water flowing down on her.
“Come on, Jacob, you slow poke! Chase me! Didn’t you just tell me a while ago that I was your dream come true? Is this how you chase your dreams, Jacob?”
I smile. It’s not arrogance. It’s the plain truth. I begin to run after her. Whoever said that you chase your dreams away? They aren’t meant to be chased away. Dreams actually go by and disappear if you don’t chase it. I’m not letting this dream get away.
Alexi is now running in circles. She swings her arms up and down, and everywhere. She is spilling out all her joy. Her laughter overshadows the sound of the rain. She laughs continuously as if she’s being tickled by the rain.
“You’re absolutely right, Jacob! This is so much fun! I’ve never been happier in my life!”
“I’m so happy for you,” I tell her. What I just said is an understatement.
“Seeing you happy like this, Alexi, you just made my day!” telling her correctly how great I really felt.
Alexi pauses a foot away from me. “Jacob… you just made all of my days!”
I stand still just looking at her. I’ve been chasing her, yet I do not feel any shortness in my breathing.
We spend a few moments just smiling at each other.
I take one big breath. Then I pick her up off her feet and I spin both of us around. She doesn’t realize that I just pulled a fast one on her. That I just gave her the biggest hug in the world.
Or maybe she does realize it. Because as I spin her around, she grabs me between her arms and gives me a hug that this time certainly shortens my breath.
As I put her down, I grab her hands. We now form a human merry-go-round and keep spinning. We spin until we’re both dizzy and fall to the ground.
Our backs are to the sand and we are laying down flat staring at the sky. Now, we're both laughing like we’re being tickled by the rain.
Alexi exhales to stop her laughter as she turns to face me. “Now this is the right way to say goodbye, Jacob.”
“I’m sorry, Jacob. I have to go now.”
“I know,” I tell her with a very disappointed tone. “Do what you have to do. Stay safe, Alexi.”
She stands still for a moment. She wants to say something but doesn’t know what. She gives what probably is the best reaction she can give for this. Silence.
It pains me to see her walk away. So I don’t. But I hear her footsteps dragging away towards home. As the rain pours down a little harder, her footsteps go faster.
Soon, I hear nothing but rain and see nothing but an empty sandbox. A perfect metaphor for my heart right now.
I sit down on my favorite seat. But soon I’m restless and stand right back up. I look to the sky. To the rain. I never let the rain defeat me. Except for now.
Instant loneliness has gotten the best of me. I can’t even dance around in the rain. It means nothing now. I’ve been playing in this sandbox since I could walk, but it’s only now that I realize the true meaning of happiness in this sandbox.
It’s not what there is to play with or where you’re playing, it’s who you’re playing with. Years of swinging alone on the swing, my most fun ever was at the corner of the sandbox.
I stare at the sand. I see the fins from the mermaid I formed earlier. I give it a swift kick. She’s been gone for five minutes and I can’t stop thinking of her.
I feel bad. I wish I could do it over again. I wish I could have at least looked at her and said goodbye the right way.
Actually, if I had a wish, I would wish I didn’t have to say goodbye. I wish she was here. I wish we were still playing. I wish I didn’t have to upset her. I wish…
Tap Tap Tap.
Someone’s tapping my shoulder. I turn my head.
I could faint. It’s Alexi. Each time I see her, I could swear that I’m looking at the most beautiful thing in the world. But she outdoes herself every time. Even though she’s doing absolutely nothing. Each time I see her, it feels like Christmas.
But she’s here. Ever so beautiful than a few minutes ago. Maybe it’s because it’s the first time I’ve seen her in the rain. Her hair wet and falling over her face. It’s like a waterfall from heaven covering her eyes.
Her eyes. So beautiful. They have God saying, “Wow! I did that? I’m awesome!”
Her eyes. Staring at me so boldly and has me mesmerized once again.
She smiles. “Tag! You’re it, Jacob!” She begins to run. She runs in no direction but still has the demeanor of knowing exactly what she’s doing.
I’m supposed to run after her. But I can’t. I am frozen in awe of such a beautiful sight. Alexi was meant to be running in the rain. She turns her head to face me and her hair sways through the air in uniform with the water flowing down on her.
“Come on, Jacob, you slow poke! Chase me! Didn’t you just tell me a while ago that I was your dream come true? Is this how you chase your dreams, Jacob?”
I smile. It’s not arrogance. It’s the plain truth. I begin to run after her. Whoever said that you chase your dreams away? They aren’t meant to be chased away. Dreams actually go by and disappear if you don’t chase it. I’m not letting this dream get away.
Alexi is now running in circles. She swings her arms up and down, and everywhere. She is spilling out all her joy. Her laughter overshadows the sound of the rain. She laughs continuously as if she’s being tickled by the rain.
“You’re absolutely right, Jacob! This is so much fun! I’ve never been happier in my life!”
“I’m so happy for you,” I tell her. What I just said is an understatement.
“Seeing you happy like this, Alexi, you just made my day!” telling her correctly how great I really felt.
Alexi pauses a foot away from me. “Jacob… you just made all of my days!”
I stand still just looking at her. I’ve been chasing her, yet I do not feel any shortness in my breathing.
We spend a few moments just smiling at each other.
I take one big breath. Then I pick her up off her feet and I spin both of us around. She doesn’t realize that I just pulled a fast one on her. That I just gave her the biggest hug in the world.
Or maybe she does realize it. Because as I spin her around, she grabs me between her arms and gives me a hug that this time certainly shortens my breath.
As I put her down, I grab her hands. We now form a human merry-go-round and keep spinning. We spin until we’re both dizzy and fall to the ground.
Our backs are to the sand and we are laying down flat staring at the sky. Now, we're both laughing like we’re being tickled by the rain.
Alexi exhales to stop her laughter as she turns to face me. “Now this is the right way to say goodbye, Jacob.”
End Chapter 6.
Photo by Sheila Asuncion
what's next na.. where's chapter 7.. or that's the end of it.. hmmm.. hala
ReplyDeletesorry. it'll be up today. thank you anonymous one..
ReplyDeletethis is my favorite chapter. i can imagine myself playing in the rain and all the happy feelings it comes with. :)
ReplyDelete