The Sandbox CHAPTER 10

Swish. Forward and up. Backward and down. This is my favorite playground. This is my favorite swing. It still is. But its not my favorite part of the playground anymore. My favorite is the sandbox at the corner. But I haven’t stood there for some time now. I’m still so scared to go there.

The swing is not as fun anymore. It only does two things now. It only moves you forward. And then back down. I stand up from the swing and stare it down. Why have you changed?

But truth is, it hasn’t. It’s still the same swing. But now I realize what this swing represents. Loneliness. Even when you try to enjoy it, it brings you back to reality.

You dream, you excite, you push. Forward and up. But no matter what you do. It always brings you back. Backward and down. The sad part is, for a long time, I was comfortable playing on this swing.

I pause for a moment, contemplating on how sad my life was on that swing.

And then a thought hit me. And it got me smiling. The thought? It’s Alexi. It’s her. It’s because of her I left that swing. And she did it with no effort at all. I just had to look at her.

I walk along the playground as I continue thinking about Alexi. For everything her mother told me. For everything Alexi told her. It’s all the other way around.

Olivia told me that I showed happiness to Alexi. Forward and up. Backward and down. The truth is, It was Alexi who showed me happiness… the true meaning of it. And all I did was share it with her.

Happiness is not hard to find. All you have to do is look around. Happiness is everywhere.

Happiness is the sun as well as the rain. It’s in your mind as well as your heart. It’s every part of the playground. The slide, the swing, the merry-go-round, there’s even happiness at the corner of the… sandbox.

I stop walking to realize that I’m standing on that very corner of the sandbox. Just awhile ago I was afraid to go near here. But again, Alexi has brought me away from the swing ang back to here, the corner of the sandbox, where I found happiness.

I look to the sun as if to look at Alexi. I smile and tell her, “You’re the best! I wish I had known you longer. In that way, I would have more memories to remember you with. And more reasons to smile. I miss you, Alexi! And for those few moments with you, I thank you!”

I take a deep breath. My eye catches stare to the house across the park. I look to the very window wear I saw Alexi sitting with her green dress. I smile again. Another idea has popped into my mind.

In a split second I begin running out of the playground and across the park.

Ding Dong!

… No answer.

Ding Dong!

Still no answer.

I look around while waiting. There’s a nice porch with a wooden bench right by the door.

Sigh! I wait for a few more seconds, but still no answer. I begin to walk away when suddenly the door opens.

“Jacob! You caught me by surprise! Is everything ok?”

“Hello there, Mrs. Olivia! I hope I didn’t disturb you. But I was wondering. Can you tell me more stories about Alexi?”

Olvia smiled as she closed the door behind her. She sat me down beside her on the bench.

“Jacob, as often as you want, you can come here and I will be more than happy to share stories with you about Alexi,” she told me while comforting me with a hug around my shoulders.

And the whole afternoon she told me stories. Fun ones. They made me laugh. And I noticed that as she told me stories of Alexi, it helped ease the pain from her as well.

Soon enough, we were both smiling. Replacing the recent sad memory of her loss with the past memories of glee she had brought into our lives.

Every story I would hear would bring about a pleasing feeling all over. And with every story, my smile grows bigger. Exactly like the first time I saw the twinkle in Alexi’s eye, and then the next, and so on until the last. The last twinkle which was lost with the rain, but found again with her laugh.

You see, happiness doesn’t disappear with the loss of someone who brought it about. Happiness is everywhere. And mine is Alexi.

She’s my sun and my rain. She’s in my mind and in my heart. She’s my favorite swing on my favorite playground. She’s the sand that sparkles at the corner of the sandbox. And now, even when I close my eyes, everytime I close my eyes, the first thing that I see is Alexi smiling at me.


The End.

Volume I.

The Sandbox CHAPTER 9

“Have you ever tried to hide all the anger in the world?” Olivia asked me.

“I’m about to,” I replied. “But how do you hide it from yourself?”

“Don’t be too hard on yourself, Jacob,” she told me, “you have your whole life ahead of you.”

As a kid, that line never mattered. All we think about is right now. And right now is not good at all.

“Anyway, I shall continue my story,” Olivia said. “The moment I saw Alexi come home from playing in the rain, I was really furious. I wanted to get really mad at her. But I wouldn’t. I knew what would lie ahead after her playing in the rain. Right there and then, I faced the facts. And I wouldn’t want one of my last conversations with Alexi would be me yelling at her. So, I held all my anger. Besides, this is the first time I ever saw her come home from the sandbox…”

She paused and ran her hand through the back of my head, and then she continued.

“…smiling.” Olivia smiled followed by mine as well.

She continued on, “I spent all night beside her. After all, it’s only Alexi and I in that house. After a few series of coughs that night, I rushed her straight to the hospital. The moment the doctor told me she had to be confined, I grew weak. I was afraid it would mean that she was never coming home again.”

“I’m so sorry, Mrs. Olivia,” I told her.

“You know what, Jacob? That’s the first thing Alexi told me at the hospital. Right before she told me about you.”

“Me?” I asked her. “What did she say?”

“I’ll tell you, Jacob. Every single word.”

As a kid, I’m scared. I thought that this would be Olivia’s build up on to saying that this is my entire fault. But I wanted to hear what Alexi had to say. Actually, I wanted to hear her voice.

“Alexi was holding tight to my hand while she talked about you, Jacob.

Mother, I’m so sorry. I can’t say I didn’t mean to do it, because I did. I can’t say it’s someone else’s fault, because it’s not. A week ago, I met Jacob. He’s the only one in the whole sandbox who saw me. And that even includes my own self. He opened my eyes when you kept them closed for me. He’s my toothbrush…”

“Toothbrush?” I interrupted.

“Yes,” Olivia tells me with slight smirk as she continues what Alexi was saying.

“He’s my toothbrush because he gives me the confidence to smile. He brings out my smile to its prettiest. He’s the most fun because unlike my Barbie dolls, he talks back. He’s the most fun because he taught me how to have fun. Mother, you taught me what to keep away from. You taught me what to be scared of. But Jacob, he taught me how fun is a far greater feeling than fear. He taught me how to be a kid. And the one advantage that a kid has over an adult is that a kid has much lesser fears about life. Mother, you taught me how to fight through life. Jacob taught me how to own it. You spent over five years raising me to be who I am. Jacob spent five days showing me who I am… and what I am. And despite the situation right now, you know what I am mother? I am happy.”

Olivia sheds a few tears as she took my hand. “Jacob, you have the gift of turning the world around. As you did Alexi’s. She started by telling me that she was so sorry. And after what she said, her world continued to turn as I replied to her, ‘Alexi, I’m so sorry.’”

Olivia then looked at me in a manner that an adult with look at a child when they were about to say something that a child has to never forget. “Jacob, I spent all this time caring for Alexi that I overlooked her happiness. But you came along and helped me out with that. For all these years, I showed her how life was filled with rain. But you showed her that the sun will always be there to shine right after the rain. Jacob, it’s you. You are the bright side to this story.”

I hugged Olivia tight as she hugged me back. For that moment, I felt as if she were my second mom.

I was almost about to feel better until I realized something. If I’m the bright side to the story, then what happened to Alexi?

“So did Alexi say anything else after that?” I asked.

“Yes, she did, Jacob. She said one more thing, three days later… one last time.”

And that’s when I started to cry a river. Like that time when I lost my favorite toy. Except this time, I lost something a million times more important.

Olivia quickly continued to tell me what Alexi said hoping that it would somehow ease away some tears.

“Mother, I have learned that the sun and sand is a great source of my happiness. So look up each time the sun is out as that is me, taking care of you, in return. And tell Jacob, each time he is in the sandbox, that I will be right there shining over him and playing with him.”

“How will I know who Jacob is? I asked Alexi.” Olivia reiterated what she had said that moment with Alexi.

“That’s easy, mother. Wait for the rain to stop. Then, he will be the first one the sun shines upon.”

With that, I looked down. Frustrated, sad, and wishing so bad that Alexi were right here. Even though she’s gone, I am still here in the sandbox, wishing for her to come.

I take notice of the sand. It was sparkling brighter than ever. And then I looked up at the sun and sighed.

“Oh there you are, Alexi!”



End Chapter 9.

The Sandbox CHAPTER 8

“Hello, Mrs. Alexi’s mom! Where’s Alexi?” I asked with reservation knowing that I wouldn’t be liking the answer I would hear.

For now, Alexi’s mom could not talk at all. Her eyes are closed fiercefully as she tries to stop a river of tears. But this river has reached the waterfall.

Momentarily, she was able to hold her composure. “You can call me, Olivia. Come sit down with me, I have a story to tell you.”

“Is it ok if I just stand here, Mrs. Olivia?” I asked. I did not want to sit down. I’m as anxious as can be.

“It is much more respectful that you sit down when someone is telling you a story,” Olivia replied.

She is indeed Alexi’s mom. Doesn’t let Alexi go out in the rain, doesn’t let me stand up.
Nevertheless, I sit down beside her.

And so Olivia begins her story…

“Jacob, five years ago, I gave birth to the most beautiful angel in the whole world. I named her, Alexi. And she was all any mother could ever hope for. From the moment I held her little hand, I promised myself to always take care of her and always keep her happy…”

My anxiety couldn’t take it any longer. I’m a kid. What do you expect? I have an attention span as big an ant. I had to ask her, “Then why don’t you let Alexi go out when it’s raining? You scare her off of the rain as if it’s going to be the end of the world each time it rains! You said you always wanted to keep her happy! Then why do you stop her from having fun?! She played in the rain once last week and no she’s never to be seen outside?!”

My outburst pushes Olivia to tears again. But she quickly composes herself and gives me an upset look. Right now, she’s confused between being a mother and being an adult. But she answers back.

“Jacob, it’s not easy being a mother. There is no other person who gets caught up with more right-and wrong situations than a mother. Of course I wanted Alexi to be happy. And, of course, I wanted to take good care of her as well. But there’s a big difference in decisions with taking good care of her and keeping her happy. As a mother, you want to do both, you’d do anything to make both happen, but somehow life is just not set up that way.”

Olivia got me as confused as her. I’m a little boy. I’m the exact opposite of a mother. Of course I don’t know what it’s like to be a mother. But I had to answer back. I feel that although Alexi isn’t here, I have to stand up for her. I want to stand up for her.

“Mrs. Olivia, no offense, but what makes life sad, or, for our conversation’s sake, the opposite of happy, are the rules that we create. Don’t mistake me. There’s nothing wrong with rules, but rather, the basis on how we make them. When people make rules to prevent what they’re afraid of happening, they end up putting handcuffs on life. Where’s the fun in life when it’s handcuffed?”

Olivia begins to look at me in disbelief. But I continue.

“Mrs. Olivia, you made this rule on Alexi not to go out in the rain because you were afraid of something. Please! What is it that you’re afraid would happen?”

Olivia looks astonished as she answers back. “Oh my! Young man, were did you learn to talk like that? It’s amazing for such a little boy to speak his mind. The answer to your question, Jacob, is in the story that I was telling you until I was so rudely interrupted... which… oh… now turns you back into being a normal mischievous little boy.”

Olivia gives me a wink. That wink was a big gesture. With that wink, I cross out the “most strict parent in the world” label I had given to her.

“Please continue your story, Mrs. Olivia,” I tell her as I reverse my anxiety.

“Very well, Jacob. Similar to what I had said, life doesn’t always turn out the way we want it to be. It’s not always a perfect moment. In fact, it rarely is a perfect moment. That’s why perfect moments are treasured. And giving birth to Alexi was my perfect moment of all perfect moments. But that perfect moment, was soon to be hit with horrifying news.

A couple weeks after Alexi was born, the doctor gave me a call. He had some news regarding Alexi. I found out that Alexi was born with a very rare disease. This disease was very complicated. It’s like an extreme case of pneumonia. Every time Alexi would catch a cold, she is in the risk of losing her life.”

I feel paralyzed now from the neck down. I can’t move. I can’t talk. There were only a few gestures my body allowed me to do. But one of them showed exactly what I felt inside. I closed my eyes, and then I put my head down.


“And that is why I laid on that rule to Alexi to never go out in the rain,” Olivia continues.

“And yes, I created that rule based on something I was very afraid of… losing Alexi. I told myself that I would never live to see Alexi die. When time comes, she will write my obituary. Not the other way around. And so, in your words, I handcuffed her. I know it may have been a handcuff on her life, but a handcuffed life is never the end of the world.”

I continue to have my head down. This is the only way I could hide my own tears that are beginning to fall. I just want to break down. And before I could, Olivia gives me a motherly gesture and puts her arms around me in comfort.

“Come on now, Jacob,” Olivia says to me. “Try not to cry. There is a bright side to this story…”



End Chapter 8.

The Sandbox CHAPTER 7

It had been raining for the past week. But this time, it was heavy rain. A storm. With all the matching lightning and thunder that magically manufactures nightmares into your thoughts. Pretty weird for summer.

No sign of Alexi at the park the past week. No signs of any kid at the park. Not even me. I can deal with rain, but I do not want to be sitting on that swing when lightning strikes.

But today, the rain has stopped. But grey clouds still cover the sky. Behind it, you can see a little glimpse of the rays of the sun wanting to just punch through. Underneath all that, me. Sitting on the wet rubber seat of my favorite swing in the world.

But nevermind the swing today. Something else is the spotlight of the sandbox. The sand. The texture of today’s sand from the past week’s rain makes it perfect. And I just knew it. That’s why I brought with me my own pail and shovel today.

Yup! It’s all part of the plan. The rain has stopped. The sand is perfect. And soon enough, the sun will come out. Soon enough, Alexi will come to the sandbox and play. So before that happens, I want to build her something great with the sand.

So I dig. I shovel. I mold. I carve. And 2 hours later, I’m done.

I stand at the corner of the sandbox and stare at my works of art. To my left, I have made a tulip. A giant one. As big as Alexi. In full bloom and as beautiful as her.

To my right, the lower half of a mermaid. Like last time. But this time, I dig a deep hole inside so she just has to slip right in.
And right in front of me, the biggest sand castle I have ever made. It’s complete with a tower, a gate, and brick walls. There’s about a 6 feet square middle where Alexi can enter through an opening at the side and play. She has the smile of a princess, but when she steps inside, she’ll be queen of the castle. Queen of the sandbox.

As I stare at what I did, I begin to tell myself how good it really looks and how I couldn’t have made it any better. Suddenly, the clouds disappear and out comes the sun shining over the sandbox.

The sun glistens the sand inch by inch as the clouds move away.

The tulip looks like it had bloomed a bit more.

The mermaid fin shines as if it has just hopped out of the water.

And my castle…wow! Remember that part at the end of Beauty and the Beast where the castle which had been dark and filled with gargoyle sculptures suddenly transformed into a white castle with angels? Errr. I don’t. I never watched that movie! No! But the effect of the sun on the sand castle that I had made had just about the same effect as in the Beauty and the Beast movie… err, as my cousin has told me the story of that movie before.

It’s as if the sun has brought life to the sand figures. I always thought of the sun as the symbol of light. But right now, it’s the symbol of life… of being alive.

Though it’s hard to look at the sun right now, I talk to it. “You’re right on time,” I tell it.

Suddenly I hear footsteps behind me. I knew it! The sun is out and Alexi has come out to play!

I turn around to greet her.

Wait...

It’s not Alexi.

My smile turns upside down. But so do my eyebrows. This person. It’s not Alexi. She’s much taller. And much older. But she looks just like her. She even has that sparkle in her eye just like Alexi.

But this sparkle. It’s not a sparkle in her eye. I can tell, because the sparkle is flowing down from her eyes over her cheeks. She has that same disappointed and unhappy look as when I first saw Alexi.

She stares at me in silence for a few seconds. Then she talked. “Hi there! Are you… Jacob?”

“Yes?” I reply in complete bewilderment of who she is and what’s going on.

She tries to wipe away the drops of tears from her face, but even more comes along.

“Hello there, Jacob! My name is…” She stops again for another moment to gather herself and wipe away more tears before she continues. “I’m…my…. I’m Alexi’s mother….”



End Chapter 7.

The Sandbox CHAPTER 6

I keep my head down. I know what’s next. She doesn’t even have to tell me. As the few spots of rain begin to drop, I can sense Alexi begin her retreat home.

“I’m sorry, Jacob. I have to go now.”

“I know,” I tell her with a very disappointed tone. “Do what you have to do. Stay safe, Alexi.”

She stands still for a moment. She wants to say something but doesn’t know what. She gives what probably is the best reaction she can give for this. Silence.

It pains me to see her walk away. So I don’t. But I hear her footsteps dragging away towards home. As the rain pours down a little harder, her footsteps go faster.

Soon, I hear nothing but rain and see nothing but an empty sandbox. A perfect metaphor for my heart right now.

I sit down on my favorite seat. But soon I’m restless and stand right back up. I look to the sky. To the rain. I never let the rain defeat me. Except for now.

Instant loneliness has gotten the best of me. I can’t even dance around in the rain. It means nothing now. I’ve been playing in this sandbox since I could walk, but it’s only now that I realize the true meaning of happiness in this sandbox.

It’s not what there is to play with or where you’re playing, it’s who you’re playing with. Years of swinging alone on the swing, my most fun ever was at the corner of the sandbox.

I stare at the sand. I see the fins from the mermaid I formed earlier. I give it a swift kick. She’s been gone for five minutes and I can’t stop thinking of her.

I feel bad. I wish I could do it over again. I wish I could have at least looked at her and said goodbye the right way.

Actually, if I had a wish, I would wish I didn’t have to say goodbye. I wish she was here. I wish we were still playing. I wish I didn’t have to upset her. I wish…

Tap Tap Tap.

Someone’s tapping my shoulder. I turn my head.

I could faint. It’s Alexi. Each time I see her, I could swear that I’m looking at the most beautiful thing in the world. But she outdoes herself every time. Even though she’s doing absolutely nothing. Each time I see her, it feels like Christmas.

But she’s here. Ever so beautiful than a few minutes ago. Maybe it’s because it’s the first time I’ve seen her in the rain. Her hair wet and falling over her face. It’s like a waterfall from heaven covering her eyes.

Her eyes. So beautiful. They have God saying, “Wow! I did that? I’m awesome!”

Her eyes. Staring at me so boldly and has me mesmerized once again.

She smiles. “Tag! You’re it, Jacob!” She begins to run. She runs in no direction but still has the demeanor of knowing exactly what she’s doing.

I’m supposed to run after her. But I can’t. I am frozen in awe of such a beautiful sight. Alexi was meant to be running in the rain. She turns her head to face me and her hair sways through the air in uniform with the water flowing down on her.

“Come on, Jacob, you slow poke! Chase me! Didn’t you just tell me a while ago that I was your dream come true? Is this how you chase your dreams, Jacob?”

I smile. It’s not arrogance. It’s the plain truth. I begin to run after her. Whoever said that you chase your dreams away? They aren’t meant to be chased away. Dreams actually go by and disappear if you don’t chase it. I’m not letting this dream get away.

Alexi is now running in circles. She swings her arms up and down, and everywhere. She is spilling out all her joy. Her laughter overshadows the sound of the rain. She laughs continuously as if she’s being tickled by the rain.

“You’re absolutely right, Jacob! This is so much fun! I’ve never been happier in my life!”

“I’m so happy for you,” I tell her. What I just said is an understatement.

“Seeing you happy like this, Alexi, you just made my day!” telling her correctly how great I really felt.

Alexi pauses a foot away from me. “Jacob… you just made all of my days!”

I stand still just looking at her. I’ve been chasing her, yet I do not feel any shortness in my breathing.

We spend a few moments just smiling at each other.

I take one big breath. Then I pick her up off her feet and I spin both of us around. She doesn’t realize that I just pulled a fast one on her. That I just gave her the biggest hug in the world.

Or maybe she does realize it. Because as I spin her around, she grabs me between her arms and gives me a hug that this time certainly shortens my breath.

As I put her down, I grab her hands. We now form a human merry-go-round and keep spinning. We spin until we’re both dizzy and fall to the ground.

Our backs are to the sand and we are laying down flat staring at the sky. Now, we're both laughing like we’re being tickled by the rain.

Alexi exhales to stop her laughter as she turns to face me. “Now this is the right way to say goodbye, Jacob.”

End Chapter 6.

Photo by Sheila Asuncion

The Sandbox CHAPTER 5

“You know why I like playing in the sandbox a lot,” Alexi asks me. We’ve been playing in the sandbox for three straight days now.

We talk and we play. Even through meals. Our lunch would be the half melted butterfinger I have in my pocket.

The sun’s been kind as well. Maybe it’s because I gave God a wink. Or maybe it’s because Alexi’s been smiling the whole time.

Have you ever looked up in the sky and notice that the sun seems like it’s dancing around? That’s what the sun does when Alexi smiles. It’s as if the sun is dodging the clouds, wanting what everyone else sees, or at least what everyone else needs to see… peek at the most beautiful smile in the world.

“Why is it,” I reply.

“Because this is as close to the beach as I’ll ever get.” Alexi looks at the sand as if it’s grains of gold.

“You’ve never been to the beach?” I ask with a shock.

“Not even a pool,” she tells me. “My mom thinks it’s dirty there.”

“No offense, Alexi, but you’re playing in a public sandbox,” I tell her sarcastically.

“Tell that to the judge, aka, mother,” Alexi sighs out. “Now I can never be what I want to be when I grow up.”

“A lifeguard,” I ask.

“No. A mermaid,” she answers.

I smile. It’s only because I’m trying to hold in my laughter. But Alexi starts giggling, and I burst into giggles as well.

“You don’t have to be a grown up to be a mermaid,” I tell Alexi. “Here, Alexi, lie down on this hygienic sandbox.” She continues giggling.

“Alexi, close your eyes. Don’t open them until I say so.”

“No way, Jacob!”

“Why not? Alexi, do you still consider me as a stranger?”

Alexi pauses for a moment staring at me. She looks into my eyes as if it’s a mystery. I try to give the purest of stares right back.

Slowly, Alexi covers her eyes with her hands. “You better still be there when I uncover my eyes, Jacob.”

I hold her hand. “I’ll never leave your side, Alexi. You can keep me for as long as you wish.”

“Maybe I will, Jacob. How long can I keep wishing?”

I smile. The biggest smile in the world. I dance a little too. She can’t see me. Her eyes are covered.

“What in the world are you doing, Jacob.”

I stop suddenly. As if I’ve woken up from a dream. Except it wasn’t.

“Ok. Here we go, Alexi,” I begin to cover her with sand from the waist down. When it begins to get heavy on her, I stop. I look for a small stick. I start drawing curves on the sand above her.

“Ok. You can look now.”

Alexi looks down at the sand covering her. The curves I drew on the sand were scales. Her waist and legs were covered with it. Her feet had turned into fins.

“Wow! I’m a mermaid now! Cool!” Alexi starts giggling again.

“Let’s make it more realistic, Alexi. I don’t want you to look like you were washed up to shore.”

I pick up her pail and fill it with water from the drinking fountain. I rush back to Alexi. “Let’s pour some water on you.”

“Hold on, Jacob. DON’T!”

“Come on,” I tell her, “It’ll be so much fun!”

Quickly, Alexi kicks away the sand covering her and stands up. “Don’t you dare!”

“I thought you liked this, Alexi? I thought this was the one thing you always wanted to do?”

“Yes, Jacob. But I just can’t. Please! I trusted you! I covered my eyes for you!”

Her giggles from a while ago, turned into a raised voice, turned into a frustrated voice.

I begin to be a little unsettled as well. I didn’t mean to. I just wanted her to have lots of fun. But she doesn’t.

“Alexi, do you want to grow up remembering that when you were a child you stopped yourself from having fun. That you held yourself back from being happy?”

“Jacob…”

“Alexi! Don’t you want to do everything you can to make your dreams come true?”

She looks down at me with her frown starting to grow. “Jacob, that’s a ridiculous question. Who doesn’t want their dreams to come true? You play in the sandbox everyday. What are you doing to make your dreams come true?”

I lower my head so my eyes catch level with hers. “My dreams ARE coming true, Alexi... right here in the sandbox.”

This time, as I look into her eyes, I see a hundred million emotions from her staring back at me.

All of a sudden, the sandbox seems darker than it has been for the past few days. I look up. The sun has disappeared. It makes sense. Alexi’s smile has disappeared as well…



End Chapter 5.

Photo by Sheila Asuncion

The Sandbox CHAPTER 4

I couldn’t sleep last night. My last moment with Alexi was her running away and a vision of her faintly staring through the window.

Now, she’s still running through my mind.

Hopefully waiting for her to come back to the sandbox, I stare up to the sky. My hope slowly rescinds as the clouds continue to block the sun.

I’ve always hated the clouds, but never as much as right now.

She has to come! She has to!

I keep praying as I wipe the sand off my hands on my pants.

What a waste if she doesn’t come. But I really wish she does!

What if I just go to her house and ask her if she can come out to play? Will her parents get mad? Her mom seems strict based on what Alexi keeps saying.

Is it worth it? I don’t want her mom thinking I’m a bad kid. But, I have to. She has to! She has to come! God, please! Give me a sign on what to do!!

I look up as to look at God. The clouds part and the sun comes out. I take it as a “yes” from God.

Ok. Now I can’t move. I’m shaking. I’m chickening out. But I won’t. I have to do this.

I take my first step.

Suddenly, there’s a tap on my shoulder.

I look back.

It’s Alexi.

Her smile today seems unbelievably more mesmerizing than yesterday. Again I can’t move.

“Hi Jacob! Do you want to play?”

“Yes please,” I reply. How smooth. What a dork am I.

“Since you’re in my sandbox,” says Alexi, “let’s build something right here.”

“Sure!” I exclaim. “Perfect.” I thought.

Alexi begins to dig at the corner. I wonder what she wants to do. It doesn’t matter. I let her dig.

Suddenly, she gasps as she is surprised by something in the sand. She covers her mouth like she’s trying to silence a yell.

“Is this you, Jacob?”

I grin.

She pulls out the surprise from the sand and puts it up to her nose to smell it.

“It’s very lovely, Jacob. I love tulips!”

“I hoped so,” I tell her.

“Thank you, Jacob!”

And again, I stand still, mesmerized by an even greater smile.



End Chapter 4.

Photo by Sheila Asuncion