The Sandbox CHAPTER 9

“Have you ever tried to hide all the anger in the world?” Olivia asked me.

“I’m about to,” I replied. “But how do you hide it from yourself?”

“Don’t be too hard on yourself, Jacob,” she told me, “you have your whole life ahead of you.”

As a kid, that line never mattered. All we think about is right now. And right now is not good at all.

“Anyway, I shall continue my story,” Olivia said. “The moment I saw Alexi come home from playing in the rain, I was really furious. I wanted to get really mad at her. But I wouldn’t. I knew what would lie ahead after her playing in the rain. Right there and then, I faced the facts. And I wouldn’t want one of my last conversations with Alexi would be me yelling at her. So, I held all my anger. Besides, this is the first time I ever saw her come home from the sandbox…”

She paused and ran her hand through the back of my head, and then she continued.

“…smiling.” Olivia smiled followed by mine as well.

She continued on, “I spent all night beside her. After all, it’s only Alexi and I in that house. After a few series of coughs that night, I rushed her straight to the hospital. The moment the doctor told me she had to be confined, I grew weak. I was afraid it would mean that she was never coming home again.”

“I’m so sorry, Mrs. Olivia,” I told her.

“You know what, Jacob? That’s the first thing Alexi told me at the hospital. Right before she told me about you.”

“Me?” I asked her. “What did she say?”

“I’ll tell you, Jacob. Every single word.”

As a kid, I’m scared. I thought that this would be Olivia’s build up on to saying that this is my entire fault. But I wanted to hear what Alexi had to say. Actually, I wanted to hear her voice.

“Alexi was holding tight to my hand while she talked about you, Jacob.

Mother, I’m so sorry. I can’t say I didn’t mean to do it, because I did. I can’t say it’s someone else’s fault, because it’s not. A week ago, I met Jacob. He’s the only one in the whole sandbox who saw me. And that even includes my own self. He opened my eyes when you kept them closed for me. He’s my toothbrush…”

“Toothbrush?” I interrupted.

“Yes,” Olivia tells me with slight smirk as she continues what Alexi was saying.

“He’s my toothbrush because he gives me the confidence to smile. He brings out my smile to its prettiest. He’s the most fun because unlike my Barbie dolls, he talks back. He’s the most fun because he taught me how to have fun. Mother, you taught me what to keep away from. You taught me what to be scared of. But Jacob, he taught me how fun is a far greater feeling than fear. He taught me how to be a kid. And the one advantage that a kid has over an adult is that a kid has much lesser fears about life. Mother, you taught me how to fight through life. Jacob taught me how to own it. You spent over five years raising me to be who I am. Jacob spent five days showing me who I am… and what I am. And despite the situation right now, you know what I am mother? I am happy.”

Olivia sheds a few tears as she took my hand. “Jacob, you have the gift of turning the world around. As you did Alexi’s. She started by telling me that she was so sorry. And after what she said, her world continued to turn as I replied to her, ‘Alexi, I’m so sorry.’”

Olivia then looked at me in a manner that an adult with look at a child when they were about to say something that a child has to never forget. “Jacob, I spent all this time caring for Alexi that I overlooked her happiness. But you came along and helped me out with that. For all these years, I showed her how life was filled with rain. But you showed her that the sun will always be there to shine right after the rain. Jacob, it’s you. You are the bright side to this story.”

I hugged Olivia tight as she hugged me back. For that moment, I felt as if she were my second mom.

I was almost about to feel better until I realized something. If I’m the bright side to the story, then what happened to Alexi?

“So did Alexi say anything else after that?” I asked.

“Yes, she did, Jacob. She said one more thing, three days later… one last time.”

And that’s when I started to cry a river. Like that time when I lost my favorite toy. Except this time, I lost something a million times more important.

Olivia quickly continued to tell me what Alexi said hoping that it would somehow ease away some tears.

“Mother, I have learned that the sun and sand is a great source of my happiness. So look up each time the sun is out as that is me, taking care of you, in return. And tell Jacob, each time he is in the sandbox, that I will be right there shining over him and playing with him.”

“How will I know who Jacob is? I asked Alexi.” Olivia reiterated what she had said that moment with Alexi.

“That’s easy, mother. Wait for the rain to stop. Then, he will be the first one the sun shines upon.”

With that, I looked down. Frustrated, sad, and wishing so bad that Alexi were right here. Even though she’s gone, I am still here in the sandbox, wishing for her to come.

I take notice of the sand. It was sparkling brighter than ever. And then I looked up at the sun and sighed.

“Oh there you are, Alexi!”



End Chapter 9.